Shrek the Third - Review

One of the kick-ass ideas in a disappointing flick.

Shrek the Third
Monkey Score: 2 Opposable Thumbs Up (Out of 5)

God bless the filmmakers of "Shrek the Third" - they're really trying. You can tell.

Oh well.

The first Shrek was funny as hell. The second was iffy, but Puss-n-Boots (Antonio Banderas) saved the flick. Sadly, there's no saving grace for Shrek 3. There are some clever bits, but not enough is done with them.

The plot: Shrek doesn't want to be king, so he must find the kingdom's next heir (why didn't anyone ask Fiona if she wanted to be queen?). As his ship departs, Fiona reveals she's pregnant. He isn't thrilled.

Meanwhile, the evil Prince Charming wants to rule, so he gathers together all the storybook villains: Capt. Hook, various witches, evil queens, and a cyclops. This could have been awesome, but they didn't take it far enough.

Shrek finds the lost heir, a whiny teen, and kidnaps him. The teen is Arthur (to be King Arthur, of course). Cool idea, but they don't do anything with it. Arthur just complains that he isn't ready to be a king. What, he wants to go back? Even the nerds were kicking his ass in high school. Count yourself stupidly lucky, you simpering wretch. Shrek should've stuffed him down the nearest gopher hole.

Meanwhile, Charming kidnaps the princesses (Fiona, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, and the Queen), who escape and promptly become a very cool all-girl A-Team. Again, more could be done with this - it's a brilliant idea.

Notice all the good ideas have nothing to do with Shrek, Donkey, and Puss-n-Boots. We've seen their journey before, and Shrek's trepidation about becoming a father isn't too interesting (though the Baby Nightmare is pretty sweet). Unfortunately, Puss-n-Boots has a much smaller role, and I missed him - his suave elegance is a great foil to the ham-fisted Shrek. But he's barely in the movie. And Donkey's fine - he's just not given much to do.

SPOILER ALERT
Stop reading now if you don't want details revealed.

All this boils down to a disappointing ending. A showdown between the powerful, evil storybook villains, and the overwhelmed but plucky good characters? Well... no. The whiny Arthur grows enough of a pair to convince all the villains to stop being mean and go away to grow flowers. Seriously. That's it. That's the big showdown. They walk away. And it all happens on a battlefield in an -- wait. It happens during a play. A PLAY?! *sigh*

I've heard rumors of Shrek 4 and 5 being developed, with Shrek 4 being a prequel, kind of a "Shrek Begins."

Feh.