the 13th monkey: Rumor Mill

Showing posts with label Rumor Mill. Show all posts

Showing posts with label Rumor Mill. Show all posts

Monday, July 2, 2007

the Naked Monkey Run: Streaking through the Internet so you don't have to

I got my iPhone! I got my iPhone!

Time for another quick run through the theater aisles...

Christian Bale says there will be a Batman 3...

It's been official for a while that Indy 4 was gonna suck, but this spy photo of Shia as a greaser is just another nail in the coffin... God damn you, Lucas!

more photos, rumors and slander after the jump...

Some more revealing Indy pics here. Wow, could I be less interested to see a geriatric Indy? Harrison looks like hell.

Is this Benecio Del Toro preparing for his role as the Wolf Man?

PETA is apparently pissed off at the treatment of Speed Racer's monkey Chim Chim.

Marisa Tomei is finally topless in a movie. Um, isn't this about a decade late?

Whatever happened to Richard Kelly's follow up to Donnie Darko, Southland Tales?

Looks like Kelly isn't done just yet... His next one is the box.

I'm not a huge Jack Black fan, but Be Kind, Rewind is gonna be hilarious.

Finally. The full Bourne Ultimatum trailer is finally out! Say it with me: Best. movie. of. the. summer.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Angelina may join Topkapi

You know what would be a great heist? Angelina stealing my pants.

The Topkapi Affair is the sequel to the Thomas Crown Affair remake, and it's a heist film I really want to see get made. Brosnan has been trying to get it into production for a while, using the heist classic Topkapi as the source material. Until now he hasn't had much success, but this new bit of news just might finally get the wheels turning.

Moviehole has posted a rumor that Pierce Brosnan has offered Angelina the opportunity to co-star with him in the Topkapi Affair. Thomas Crown featured a sexy cat-and-mouse game between Brosnan and Rene Russo (perhaps her most sexy role other than that scar-comparison scene in the Lethal Weapon series), but Russo declined to come back for the sequel.

It feels like we've already seen this movie before, and yet I can't wait. Come on, people! The Thomas Crown series is as much about sex as it is about stealing things that don't belong to you. forget the precious art- I'm hoping Brosnan manages to steal her skirt.

True to the original, the Topkapi Affair will be filmed in Turkey where the story is set. Let's hope that Angelina's participation is enough to get this movie into production.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Batman Spy Report!

An anonymous source has posted information on the filming of two big scenes for Batman: the Dark Knight. Caution- SPOILERS ahead...

That's right, someone was on the set during filming of two scenes- the main one being a fundraiser event for Harvey Dent, in which the Joker shows up with some henchmen looking for Dent. According to the spy, the Joker does not look as grotesque as he does in the picture above (at least not in that scene). He has long hair with green highlights, and a purple coat and gloves...

I'm going to let you read the rest of the spy news over at JoBlo, who originally landed the scoop.

Another major SPOILER- Film Ick is reporting confirmation that Anthony Michael Hall is none other than Edward Nygma in The Dark Knight. So we have the characters that become the Riddler (Nygma) AND Two-Face (Harvey Dent) in the same Batman movie again? Well hell, why doesn't he just break out Robin and the codpieces as well?

You're treading on thin ice, Nolan.

Stone of Destiny: Another heist film plots to steal my money?

I'm counting on Kate to take me out if I try to see this heist film...

A new heist film is in the works- Stone of Destiny, about the actual heist of the famed Stone of Scone, which was used for centuries in the coronations of Monarchs of Scotland and England. Is this a great movie in the making, or another elaborate plan to steal my money?

Hey, I'm all for heist film goodness, even comedic heist films. But this one is written and directed by Charles Martin Smith. He's better known as a bit actor and has been in movies such as the Untouchables, but it's probably more relevant to note that he was the director of Air Bud. Yes, THAT movie about the dog that can play basketball. Dark Horizons reports that the heist movie has been greenlighted with a $6 million budget, and will star Kate Mara (above) and Charlie Cox. I know you've never heard of them, but trust me, they're HUGE stars in Japan.

Did I mention that this film is about 4 students who steal a friggin' ROCK?

Monday, June 18, 2007

UPDATED! The REAL Bat Cycle Revealed! NOW WITH VIDEO

Damn that looks dangerous to ride... and MUCH cooler than that other bike

UPDATE! VIDEO AVAILABLE AFTER THE JUMP
Let's face it- I was fooled by that false Batcyle in a previous post (I wasn't the only one). But the good news is that that over-the-top bike isn't from the Dark Knight. My faith in Nolan has been restored.. More info and another photo after the jump.

UPDATE: MSN has a clip from the Today show of the new bike.
check that out at MSN, via the always excellent Film Ick.

The LA Times has an article on the new bike, called the Bat Pod. It's worth checking out. All I have to say is thank god they aren't using that other bike. I really like this less stylized look over the over-the-top crap from the first round of Batman movies...

Friday, June 15, 2007

Batman’s new suit revealed, and the Evolution of the Batman costume

The evolution of the bat...

Entertainment Weekly has the first pic of the Dark Knight’s new batsuit….
We’ve got the pic after the jump, as well as a rundown of the evolution of the Batsuit....

You know, I warned you about this when I discussed Batman’s new vehicle—Is Nolan taking the Batman franchise down the same road to hell? While the new suit still retains that ‘body armor-like’ quality that is less comic-booky and more realistic, it’s pretty obvious that they still feel the need to keep changing things up and adding more crap.

Let’s take a look at the evolution of Batman’s suit through the movies, culminating with the latest redesign:

That ain’t a joke, kids. For those of you too young to have ever seen this- this was the actual batsuit worn on the campy Batman and Robin tv show from the 60’s. I think the eyebrows painted on the mask were an excellent touch.

Ah yes, the first Batman movie. That’s a helluva improvement over the tv show. The suit was impressive and simple, though it was so stiff Keaton looked like he was fighting in a body cast. I still can’t figure out how the hell Keaton got selected for the role.

The first suit redesign. I think this was actually a step in the right direction- the suit looks more armor-like, and actually simpler than the first one.

What exactly were we supposed to infer from this redesign- that Batman came out of the closet and got himself a boytoy? Was director Joel Shumacher living out his inner fantasies here? I’m an openminded guy, I know Robin was always part of the comic, and I’ll even grant you that Val Kilmer is kind of sexy in all that skintight latex, but this isn’t the movie I thought I was buying a ticket for. Yeah, this one pretty much marked the beginning of the end. I actually didn’t mind Val in the titular role, but adding Robin was the proverbial shark that Batman jumped. Fuck you, Joel Shumacher.

I think it’s great that Batman finally got in touch with his inner feelings, and isn’t afraid to be himself. And can I just say… Fab-u-lous! The bulging codpieces? The molded-in nipples? De-lish! Do you think George Clooney ever puts this suit back on when he’s bangin’ one of his model/girlfriends?

This is a costume from the lessor-known 1998 adult film- BatBoobs. Ironically, it’s still better costume design than the crap that Joel Shumacher put up.

This is me lookin’ fly for a New Year's party I went to. Notice how I went for the old-skool Batman aesthetic? I put this together in 15 minutes after taking a couple monster bong hits, and it still looks better than that clusterfuck Clooney had to wear. Although I have to admit the latex pants and glowing codpiece would have come in handy later that night…

This is possibly the worst Batman mask I have ever seen- what are those, antennae?
Yep, STILL better than Shumacher’s crap.

Ah, back to basics- the Batman Begins costume. This one harkens back to the Batman Returns costume, and I think we can all agree this has been the best suit so far. It doesn’t hurt that Bale has been the best Batman as well (other than myself at New Years). But here’s the $64,000 question- will Nolan start heading down the same path of overdesigning the suit?

There it is- the newest Batsuit. This is a scan from Entertainment Weekly, originally scooped by Aint it Cool (and kudos for that score). As for the suit- I really like the fact that it actually looks like body armor, almost football pads. But it’s starting to get a little busy, and almost too techy. Notice the text- razors on the forearms, multi-functional cape… Could this be the beginning of a Robocop-inspired design direction for future Batman sequels? Let’s hope not. I don’t want to see batarangs shooting out of his wrists or a friggin Inspector Gadget helicopter popping up out of his head, dammit.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Sunshine is Gonna Kick Ass

Can You Feel the Heat?

Let’s ignore the science of this concept for the time being; I really can’t tell you whether detonating a bomb in the Sun is reasonable or not. OK, it sounds unreasonable. But it also sounds interesting, doesn’t it?

Flying Into the Sun

If you’ve been reading my posts at all, you’ve probably come to realize that I’m a bit of a curmudgeon. OK, I’m downright bitter. Don’t ask me about what – the internet isn’t big enough to hold that post.

But I do enjoy some things and I get excited about others. Take the upcoming movie Sunshine, the latest Danny Boyle film coming out on July 20. You can watch the trailer here.

There isn’t a lot of sci-fi these days. We’re mostly inundated with formulaic romantic comedies, Bruckheimer explosion manifestos and animated portrayals of {insert animal or insect here}. While I can understand the general criticism that sci-fi is geeky, the genre is usually capable of producing thoughtful visions of the future, sometimes with very relevant permutations of present day concerns. Perhaps the fact that it’s thoughtful is exactly its problem. But that’s another post.

It is into this void that Sunshine steps. It’s 50 years in the future, and the Sun is being destroyed from inside out by a form of matter that renders nuclear fusion impossible. Of course, if the Sun dies, so does man. So mankind’s only hope is to send a team of astronauts to detonate a massive bomb to destroy this strange matter and restore the Sun's natural state. OK, that isn’t quite a present day concern, but it’s pretty original, as movie conflict goes.

Let’s ignore the science of this concept for the time being; I really can’t tell you whether detonating a bomb in the Sun is reasonable or not. OK, it sounds unreasonable. But it also sounds interesting, doesn’t it?

IMO, this movie’s success will likely hinge on special effects, tone, and character.

* Special Effects – we’re dealing more with the Sun here than in any movie I can remember. It will be interesting to see the different ways they portray the great star, and its effect on the characters.
* Tone – will this be a dark, bleak film? You would have to anticipate that, given the subject matter and the fact that Boyle has made Trainspotting and 28 Days Later. If he went light and airy on this, you’d have another Armageddon on your hands, and nobody wants that. Hell, nobody deserves that.
* Character – who are these people? We know they’re astronauts, but who are they really? we’re looking at a very grim situation: the Sun is dying, and so might man be. We’ll see if Boyle is able to make us care by how well he attaches us to the characters. Boyle tends to cast some relatively unknown actors, but that’s never worked against him, IMO. Ewan McGregor and Cillian Murphy (who is in this film) have done fine work for the director and elsewhere.

I’m highly anticipating this movie. Let’s hope my expectations don’t sabotage my reception.

The Joker has a new ride too: UPDATED!

The Joker's car: Strike 1 for Nolan?

UPDATE: Word around the net now is that this car is NOT actually the joker's car. Latino Review has taken down the image, so hopefully this is true... This would be great news.

OK, so Batman has his new ride, and I guess now the Joker's got his own as well.
Ummm, ok. A purple beater? Really? More info after the jump.

Latino Review scooped this shot of what appears to be the Joker's clown car. I gotta say, I'm underwhelmed. On the other hand, you KNOW it could be worse. Nolan seems to be trying to keep things as restrained as possible, but still. Wouldn't a purple caddy have been a better car choice? Nolan's did a great job with the first one, so I will definitely reserve judgement until I see what the grand vision is.

On the other hand, some of the alternate choices that didn't get selected were spotted as well...

God that last one is hideous. Maybe Nolan didn't make such a bad choice after all.

They've got a little more info if you follow the link.

National Treasure 2: More Inside Dish

It's Coming, Like it or Not

The studio execs felt optimistic that the Coppola kid could turn on his special, bad-acting charm and win over the locals. Didn’t quite turn out that way. The Monkey photog gathered this dish from the event.

National Treasure 2: More Inside News

Foley uncovered some nice Czechoslovakian dish on Natty Treasure 2, the upcoming (and latest) Nick Coppola disaster.

Well, guess what? There’s MORE inside buzz to be shared about NT2, uncovered by yours truly. It turns out there was a pre-advanced preliminary screening in Wichita, KS last night, and the Monkey has gotten its opposable thumbs on what REALLY happened at the event.

Held in a rickety barn near the water tower, the screening was highly anticipated by studio execs as a way to gauge audience reaction prior to the December 21 release. Strangely, the town folk didn’t share the studio’s excitement. When announced, reactions could only be classified as mixed:

* Doc, the Barber: “National Treasure 2? I guess that means there was a first one?”
* Gus, the Blacksmith: “Are you kidding? After they poured lemon juice on the Declaration of Independence?”
* Nancy, the town slut: “I liked the first one, but I wasn’t watching the screen the whole time.”

Still, the execs felt optimistic that the Coppola kid could turn on his special, bad-acting charm and win over the locals. Didn’t quite turn out that way. The Monkey photog gathered these pics from the event:

"Don't ever show that movie here again!"

It wasn't the theater nachos, folks.

A local on her way to the screening

So as you can see, it’s a pretty rocky start for Natty Treasure 2. To be fair about the Monkey Trade, we’ll post news from the AVP2 advanced screening as well.

I’m in for a world of hurt.

UPDATED! Batman's got a new ride

UPDATE: The bike in this post turned out to be bogus. Go here to check out the real Bat Bike...

This post is kinda SPOILERLY- consider yourself warned.
See The Dark Knight's new ride after the jump.

Plenty of rumors are floating around that the Batmobile aka 'the Tumbler' get's destroyed in the Batman sequel, and it makes sense- that allows him to build a more 'Batmanish' (that's a real word- look it up) Batmobile, just like they burned down his mansion at the end of Begins, too allow them to upgrade the cave for the sequel.

Except, from the looks of this bike, maybe we won't get to see a new batmobile after all. Could it be that Bale will just be riding around on this thing after the Tumbler goes down?

You know, it's not bad. But I still have a bit of a bad taste in my mouth from the first round of Batman movies, when they redesigned everything for every movie, and things just got out of control. I guess in that context, this bike is fairly restrained. But they are still moving down that same road. How much longer before the dark knight has red LED nipples and pants with the cheeks showing?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Indy 4 official title and other news

Indiana Jones and the Final Paycheck

I think you already know our position on this film here at the Monkey. But we're still keeping tabs on progress, in case they actually pull this thing out of the nose dive its in. And the official title is...

Um, it's Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods. Damn that's a mouthful, ain't it?
It's also completely misleading since the movie is about aliens at Area 51. But whatever.

Also, Sean Connery is NOT coming back as Indy's dad. Damn, that's harsh when Connery is turning down your script. You may have heard that he's officially retired from acting, but you still have to wonder how bad it has to be for him to walk away from a payday like the first Indy movie in almost 20 years.

In other Indy news, this movie is going to suck.

The Monkey Predicts... a new Celeb Hottie on the Horizon

Who is this hottie and why am I talking about her? Glad you asked...

I've got a 6th sense. No, I don't see dead people. I see hot people.

I have the ability to spot hotties in crappy movies who are going to turn into big celebrity stars. And I've got a new one for you to watch.

Trust me, you'll be seeing a lot more of her soon.

How did I acquire this mutant power? I really don't know. I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider, or subjected to gamma rays in a failed experiment. I do know that the first time I discovered I had this gift, I was 15. I spotted an unknown actress named Sharon Stone in a crappy movie called King Solomon's Mines, and I knew at that moment that she was going to be a megastar. Keep in mind, this is before she had done Police Academy 4. I'm not some bandwagon groupie.

There have been other occasions where I have spotted future hottie celebs- in '92 I spotted Monica Bellucci in Bram Stoker's Dracula, and then spotted her again in Brotherhood of the Wolf. There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to go big. A few years later? She's in Matrix Reloaded, and a future of superstardom awaits her, thank you very much

My newest vision? Noureen deWulf. 'Who?' you are saying, and that's exactly my point. She hasn't done much so far, mostly some tv and a couple small roles in crap movies like National Lampoon's Pledge This! But she had one brief scene and one line--ONE LINE--in Ocean's Thirteen (she was one of the Expo Girls- didn't even have a name). And my sixth sense went off for the first time in a long time.

Now, you get to enjoy my talent as well. Soon, you will be seeing her everywhere, and you will be able to brag 'I knew about her way back when she was playing roles that didn't even have a name'.

Don't worry, I'll let you know when my sixth sense goes off again with someone new.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Naked Monkey Run: Streaking through Hollywood so you don’t have to…

a cast like this can't be ignored...

Here's a quick rundown of what's going on in hollywood...

Behind the Scenes footage of the Golden Compass.
HisDarkMaterials.org has some new behind-the-scenes footage of the making of The Golden Compass. This film stars Nicole Kidamn, Daniel Craig, recent bond girl Eva Green, Eric Bana, Ian McShane, John Hurt, and Sam Elliot. This film is going to have very high expectations with a cast like that...

Ocean’s 13 opens this Friday… FINALLY a good summer blockbuster!

Possible Transformers footage tonight on Fox?
Fox’s reality tv show On the Lot, where amateur filmmakers compete for a $1 million dollar movie deal, is undergoing its third format change. The show is changing from the American Idol format (2 one-hour shows each week) to one, long-ass 2 hour show. This show started off well, but frankly it is going in the tank, and I suspect the low ratings is going to kill it off soon. But TONIGHT, Michael Bay and Shia LaBeouf will be guest judges. Might they be bringing some Transformers footage to show off? You can check out here.

Clone Wars series footage
Speaking of tired franchises, Starwars.com has a sneak peak at the animated Clone Wars series coming to tv in 2009. Check it out here.

Box Office results:
1. Pirates 3 $44.2 mil, $215.5 mil total
2. Knocked Up $30.7 mil, $30.7 mil total
3. Shrek 3 $28 mil, $255.9 mil total
4. Mr Brooks $10 mil, $10 mil total
5. Spidey 3 $7.6 mil, $318.3 mil total

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Speed Racer: The Mach 5 Unveiled!

The Wachowski's Speed Racer film is moving forward (filming begins next week), and the Mach 5 has finally been revealed. It looks, well, pretty much like it did in the cartoon. Which is fantastic. More details after the jump...

According to producer Joel Silver, the film will have a 'retro-future' look, and stars Emile Hirsch as Speed, Christina Ricci as Trixie, and Matthew Fox as Racer X. As for Chim Chim? They are using a real chimp. As for the racing, most of that will be CG. Can't say I'm too excited about that...

Personally, the Speed Racer cartoon was always my favorite. I grew up on that stuff- some of my fondest childhood memories are of watching cartoon cars go off the cliff during those heated races. Really, did anyone notice how many people died in flaming wrecks every episode? Freakin' hardcore, man.
USA Today has the full article here.

Harry Potter's got his own Theme Park

Initial concept of Universal's Harry Potter theme world

Warner Bros and Universal have officially announced that they will build "The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter" at Universal's Islands of Adventure theme park. The two studios will collaborate to "create the world’s first fully immersive Harry Potter themed environment", which should be open in 2009.

My god, what a moneymaker this is going to be.

Deadline Hollywood first broke the news yesterday. According to the official studio press release, the concept is to create a physical environment that fans can explore, taking visitors to locations such as Hogsmeade Village, the Forbidden Forest, and Hogwarts Castle. The area will include the standard fare of rides, shops and restaurants.

Perhaps most significant is the fact that Oscar-winning production designer Stuart Craig, who created the sets for all the movies, will lead the creative design of the area. That should definitely keep the look and feel of the movies intact. Check out more concept images and read more here.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Star Wars Convention Coming to Los Angeles

Stop Drooling, Ladies!

Star Wars Fan Convention - Los Angeles Convention Center

Well, look what’s happening this weekend at the Los Angeles Convention Center? It’s the “Star Wars Celebration IV”, what “should be the biggest Star Wars fan convention of all time,” according to the Los Angeles Times.

You might know this event by another name: The VIRGIN Convention. If you have a Chewbacca costume in your closet, now is the time to use it. If you’ve always looked for an occasion on which to wear your Storm Trooper suit, this is it. This weekend, you don’t have to worry about being ridiculed for never having kissed a girl; everyone is in the same Millennium Falcon.

Perhaps this is the Los Angeles Convention Center’s attempt at balancing the sexual cosmos of the convention world. You see, Adultcon, the porn convention, was held in the same hall in March. And we know that ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS GETTING LAID at the Star Wars Convention. Together, they make the Convention Center’s sexual energy average.

No word on whether there will be a George Lucas Dialogue Writing Workshop at the Convention. We definitely need more writers who can pen bland, cheesy, cliché, monosyllabic love scenes in the middle of a SPACE MOVIE.

May the lube be with you.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Indy IV has jumped the shark

Don’t jump, Indy. please.

SPOILERS
The folks at CHUD have some seriously disturbing news on Indiana Jones 4, specifically regarding Indy’s son, played by Shia LaBeouf…
LaBeouf is going to be playing a greaser, wearing jeans and a leather jacket and riding around on a motorcycle. He also says that Indy and Shia will be thrown together in this adventure but will not learn they’re related until a pivotal action scene.
Oh God, that is spectacularly bad. If this is true, is there any doubt that this is the hand of George Lucas at work?
Chud also says that Area 51 will be featured in the new movie (remember Frank Darabont’s initial script featured Indy at Area 51), but how much of that is part of the main story remains to be seen.
I wasn’t sure Lucas could ruin a franchise any worse after what he did with the prequels, but this sounds worse. Can someone please rescind his directing license or something?

UPDATE

CHUD also says that Karen Allen is returning, and is Shia’s mom. If you recall, she and Indy knocked boots in the Raiders. Bow chicka bow bow.

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